6 Ways You Are ‘Unknowingly’ Being Offensive to Female Identifying Djs

You’ve done it, I’ve done it… we’ve all screwed up and unknowingly made offensive comments to men, women, transgender, gay and other various groups of people. We don’t all do it because we want to hurt anyone but often because we are just ignorant in knowing  how we are actually coming across. So today I want to clear up some confusion so we can spread MORE LOVE and less derogatory and demeaning comments.

1. ” You’re pretty good for a girl.”

Please realize this comment makes the statement that girls aren’t really all that good at doing anything, so it is SHOCKING to see a woman be good at something. Which is absolutely not true and we all know that but you’re playing into gender stereotypes when you make such statements. Also… we aren’t exactly “blushing” over this comment when we hear it.

2. “You’re Better than the other girls.”

How about we just make a statement that isn’t putting down another person male or female, transgender or pink hair? Maybe this individual is really exceptional at what they do because they bring something to the table that others just aren’t. So bring up that thing, that WOW factor. It’s far more genuine.

3. Statements and advertisements like, “Sexiest performing artist.”

Finding someone or something sexy is subjective to the individual. It also takes out the “talent” and objectifies this human being as an object. Which again can go towards either sex, but we are seeing this focus on flyers and advertisements for many female djs.

Some artist may use it for their branding and that’s totally 100% fine. But as a promoter you should always ASK a performing artist how they’d like to be advertised before you “go there.”

4. “I’m so glad you cover it up, unlike those other djs.”

All people have the right to dress and look the way they want. The second you start making statements about how you feel someone should or shouldn’t dress, you are going down a slippery slope. Yes, even the comments about “man buns.”(Guys aren’t safe from this either.) It tells the individual, “I judge people based on how they look.”

Note – if you hold up different standards for women than you do men, you may want to take a look at what that is about.

5. “You’re my favorite FEMALE DJ”

If you know of 100 djs and you tell one of them, “You’re my favorite!” That’s pretty damn flattering. But when you say, “You’re my favorite LBGTQ dj.” And you know of 3, you might as well say, “You’re my favorite dj in Winnipeg, Manitoba with red hair that doesn’t use Serato and has one arm as a stump.”  Be more general about the “art form” but “specific” about what you LIKE about that person’s brand without touching on identifying gender, ethnicity or physical attributes.

6. Assumptions – “It must be sooooo easy getting gigs cause you’re cute!”

I hear this one all the time and honestly it’s the most frustrating topic among women in male dominated industries. The assumption that someone gave you something you didn’t deserve just because you are cute or a part of a minority. An article by James St. James a transgender man explained 25 examples of male privilege he experiences.  He touched on the issue that:

24. People Think My Successes Have Been Made Purely By My Own Gumption. I’ve worked hard, sure, but I’ve also had plenty of luck and help. People just don’t question my supposed right to be praised anymore, nor imply that I earned what I earned by playing some sort of card. My same exact successes are somehow now all me, all hard-earned, and all things that had absolutely nothing to do with the cultural system we have in place.”

Sometimes people get work because someone thinks they are attractive.
Sometimes people don’t get work because someone thinks that person gets everything handed to them. (Even if that’s not the case.)
Sometimes people get work because they’ve worked REALLY hard and have proven their worth.
Sometimes people don’t get work because business owners live in a world with some serious stereotyping issues where these statements ring true to them.

If you read the above quotes and have personally used them it’s time to ask yourself if you  approach individuals in derogatory ways because of your judgement or confusion about  their life style, culture,  background, sexual orientation or what gender they identify as. Do your research so that you can at least TRY to avoid running into these sticky situations.

Wondering what I mean by awkward situations to avoid?

Other helpful articles you might dig!

5 Reasons Djs Need Bigger Goals
Are You The Weakest Dj?
Djs Stuck and Going No Where Fast
The Difference Between a Good DJ and a Great DJ
Why You Should Never Do a DJ Gig For Free

TheGirlDJAdvantage

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2 thoughts on “6 Ways You Are ‘Unknowingly’ Being Offensive to Female Identifying Djs

  1. DontKilmaVibe says:

    First of all, there are WAY MORE MEN that go topless at festivals than women. Pretty much 90% of the guys I played alongside at Envision weren’t wearing shirts most of the time including when they weren’t playing. #FreeTheNipple

    I saw a video of one of my guy friends a “male dj” wearing a dick sling (which is literally half a thong…. google it if you dare) and his friend (another dude) walking by wearing a flower dress at a festival. Seems guys are ridiculed far less for “freeing the nipple” and being quite more naked… than woman. Something BTW they had to rally against some years back when even men weren’t suppose to be topless at beaches. (weird right?)

    On that note, why is it these festival promoters and other artists (men) are allow to promote their music videos, flyers and cd album artwork with half naked women but when those SAME women take control of their bodies and brand to place an image (with their consent) they are looked down upon, but the men objectifying them in the first place aren’t in the hot seat. They can go home, look at their porn, get off and than be upset when they see a sex woman on a flyer… huh?

    You can’t have different standards for men, than women and then be surprised when they “fight back” and like your friend admitted, “yeah I get gigs all the time cause Im hot.” Yea, just like servers at sports bars know they will get big tips because of creepy men. You don’t always feel bad about it… I know what “gigs” she is talking about and those ones were always frustrating for me (I don’t take them anymore.) they feel creepy and cheap. And if someone decides to do that I would compare it to djing top40 music. It’s just not for everyone but some people love it so all the power to them.

    I knew my worth and I knew I was great at what I did, but sometimes I felt like I was getting booked because they wanted the whole “omg look it’s a girl.” I mean heck, seems most promoters now a days don’t know the difference between someone beat matching by each and blending and someone doing it all from their computer. So just because you KNOW what you are doing, you might still get booked for reasons “outside of your talents” regardless of your gender.

    “Sometimes people don’t get work because business owners live in a world with some serious stereotyping issues where these statements ring true to them.”

    It’s not a question of “am I good enough.” It’s whether I fit into their “idea dj” and if they feel threatened by me or any other person because they think that person has an “unfair edge” than that’s all it will take. I’ve seen the very same type of promoters book female talent and still turn around and look down on them because and I quote, “I dunno… I guess they have boobs.” It was them, making the big deal of that one tiny different in physical attributes. I look at articles like Nervo where in pretty much ever interview journalist’s state, “You just came out of no where.” And the girls explain each time. “Well actually we’ve been producing and writing tunes for all these various artists for years before we were djs….” People just make their judgments and wash their hands of it.

    Our society feeds off of sex, they use it to sex almost everything and pick and choose what it okay and what it not. For example half naked lady on a flyer “okay” mother breast feeding her baby, “offensive.” *head scratch* Wait, what? Exactly!

  2. Carlos Oliveira says:

    I made a comment once that did hit me afterwards, although it didn’t help that she pretty much said, yeah I get gigs all the time cause Im hot. I think it does rain true that promoters and clubs will hire attractive women who is a good dj over a man who is a good dj. look at the topless dj’s getting gigs all over Europe, why……they actually aren’t terrible some of them…..why do you need your shirt off to get gigs…There are just as many shitty female dj’s as shitty male dj’s I don’t understand why the stigma is automatically applied when a female walks onto the stage. I apply it to everyone lol, then they work their way up.

Thoughts? Join the discussion on facebook & twitter #DontKilmaVibe

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