Nothing is more vibe killin as an artist then hearing the person you care most about say, “You realize you need to get a REAL JOB…right?” Heck, maybe this is what your significant other is saying now. You might be questioning whether to stay in the relationship or quit your passion and focus on “grown up things.” I mean after all they may be on to something, right? Maybe you were given an ultimatum. “It’s me or your silly dj business. Pick one!” Whatever situation you may be in, there are a few things to considered.
1. Why are you in this?
Djing – Is it a passion you’d like to see thrive as a business? Or are you just doing it as a hobby with a hope someone will just discover you?
The Relationship – Is this person the one? Or are you just killin’ time? Are you on the same page about your morals and where you’d like to see yourself together in the next 5-10 years?
2. Are you giving it your all?
If it’s not “just a hobby” and this is your dream job, are you treating it as such? If you were to become a Dr. or Engineer you’d be be putting yourself through school, involved in an internship or maybe a related job. You’d spend much time studying and practicing. A career as a dj or producer really needs that sort of attention. What education are you getting? How are you becoming more knowledgeable about various aspect of your industry?
3. Are you neglecting important humans?
Whether you’re djing, restoring cars or playing videos games for 7 hours a day, if you can’t find time for the important people in your life NOW, don’t image it’ll be easier once that dj career is in full flex. If you are finding a way to make a relationship work the question of “whether or not” you should stay follows the question of…
4. What’s REALLY going on in the relationship?
If the bills are paid, food is on the table and you’re finding time for your partner but they still want you to, “quit your silly dream…” there may be bigger issues to dive into. If the relationship is worth keeping I’d suggest counselling to get to the bottom of things and see what changes you can both make to accommodate that don’t rob you of your passion, or the relationship of what it might be missing. It’s a great time to set a goal and a date to then reassess the relationship.
5. Are you being realistic about your actions?
This part you might not like but… If your passion is starving your relationship and family funds because you treat you career as a free party and it’s affected your loved ones negatively, an ultimatum is about others trying to survive. It’s not about hurting YOU. This is the harsh reality of any party scene. It can be easy to get swept into the excitement of the nightlife vices. If this is not the case, next question to ask yourself…
6. ARE YOU in a toxic relationship?
If you are a passionate DJ that not only loves what they do but works incredibly hard and have exhausted your resources to find a way to make it work both in the relationship and the passion, it may be time to leave the relationship. It’s a decision only YOU can make on your own when you’re ready. And I definitely encourage using what resources you have to make it work but at the end of the day if you’re in a toxic relationship you won’t have to do much on your end to see that some people (like in business) just want to control you.
Can you follow your Passion while being in a relationship?
Yes! Having health relationships both professionally and intimately make a world of a difference for aspiring artists. There ARE healthy relationships where two people support one another’s passion while having a fantastic relationship, including FAMILIES! It takes dedication, but you can do it!
Now go out there and get er’ done!
Want to hear success stories? Listen to the PassionateDJ podcast where we get stories from successful parents, some in relationships that find a way to make their career work while ensuring their family is taken care of, too!