I’m sorry I didn’t call you out on your behaviour the first time.
I’m not sorry that when I did, you felt hurt.
I’m sorry I laugh when I should have been straight with you about how I felt. It wasn’t funny…
I’m not sorry that when I was, you felt insulted that I didn’t “feel comfortable” being honest in the first place.
I’m sorry I allowed you to say those things for so long, you couldn’t have read my mind.
I’m not sorry that you hadn’t taken the time to educate yourself on REAL WORLD SHIT.
Spoiler Alert: It’s not the responsibility of women to teach you why some of the behaviour, words and actions your share are offensive, crude and even bring us back to the 1920s.
We don’t want to fight, we want to get along but not if that mean moving our boundaries to appease you. Something many of us have been conditioned to do since we realized our differences.
For the future here are some comments you can stop saying to women (not just in music) even if you “think” they are compliments.
“Wow, you’re really good for a female…”
Ya know… as if FEMALES aren’t capable of being GOOD at anything tech related.
Unless you’re dating her and proposing, women don’t actually all think getting married is hitting the finish line in life. It’s not endearing. It’s creepy and feels like “Hey I know I just met you, you know nothing about me… but I want you ALL TO MYSELF… for life”
Yeah… made me vomit just thinking about it, too.
“I really apprecaite how you COVER IT UP…not like those OTHER GIRLS.”
Yo, did you seriously just complement me on modesty while insulting my sisters?
If you’re fishing for someone that takes compliments based on putting down other humans… you need to take a long hard look in the mirror. Also… I saw that “modest” topless gym photo of you flexing. Double standards much?
We are human.
We make mistakes.
I get that.
But we can do better.
Hold yourself account. Get educated and STOP expecting women to teach you… ya know like we might hope you read our body language.
The reality is when we call you out (And I’ve experienced this MORE THAN A FEW TIMES…) we don’t just get, “she’s a bitch…” We get seriously disturbed people stalking and harassing us. Our attempt to have boundaries sometimes puts us at risk and playing nice is more about surviving in that moment because we don’t know what that person is capable of. Imagine living that nightmare… just for a moment.
And guess what? When we report that kind of behaviour we get, “But did you sleep with him? Did you lead him on…” Don’t even get me started.
If you’re an advocate, if you are a team player and you HEAR what we’re saying… realize, own and use the power YOU have to spread that word, call out the behaviour and do better.
A part of the team.